OCTOBER 1999 NEWSLETTER

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• Editorial
• Heroic Failures
• Cricket Report
• A Sobering Tale
• The Back Page

EDITORIAL

Hello again. Perhaps I'm getting old, but it only seems a very short while ago that I was preparing the last Newsletter. It's an old saying, but time really does seem to fly these days.I'm actually typing this editorial whilst watching the European Champions League tie between Sturm Gratz and Manchester United, so it will take longer than usual to type. If you read it whilst watching football on the telly, you'll read it at about the right rate. The second half has just started, and United are leading 3-0. I'll keep you informed of developments. Oh oh! Beckham's got involved with an opponent, but has somehow managed to escape a card. And while I've been typing the last sentence, the Austrians have come close to scoring twice. I've now backtracked to add another sentence, and Sturm Gratz have now missed a penalty, although ot's hardly surprising, as my 5 year old could have made a better job!

In the last Newsletter, and also in the minutes, there was an appeal for help with photocopying of the Newsletter. You may not be aware, but the copies have been done by Roland Gawler, who is, as you probably do know, currently laid up in hospital. In fact, Roland's commitment to the Branch was summed up when I visited him in hospital, as his first words to me were "I'm sorry I've mucked up your Newsletter". Well, actually Roland has not mucked up the Newsletter, but we are now looking for someone who has access to a photocopier, and is able to obtain a large amount of copies without exercising the wrath of an employer. If you are able to help, please contact me or any Committee member. There is a danger that the Newsletter may have to be reduced in size or made bi-monthly to cut costs if we have to start paying for copies.

Beckham has now got a yellow card, although I have certain amount of sympathy on this occasion. His opponent has also got a yellow card, fully deserved, and has been substituted to avoid a red card, which seemed a distinct possibility if he carried on. Wouldn't it be great if all managers adopted such a sensible attitude?

Don't forget to complete your "Mystic Ref" competition entry form attached to the back of last month's Newsletter, and pass it to Colin Morris, or any Committee member, along with your £2 entry fee. Half the money received will go directly into Branch funds, while the other half will be the prize for the entry with the highest score in predicting the seasons' events. The closing date for entries is 17th October.

If you have any articles for the Newsletter, please write to me at 17 Church Farm Road, Upchurch, Kent ME9 7AG, or phone me on 01634 235148, or you can e-mail me on ian.miles@marshalls.co.uk.(No more to report on the football. The final whistle has just gone - 3-0 to United).

The following stories have been taken from "The Book of Heroic Failures". I thought you might enjoy them.

THE WORST SOCCER MATCH

In 1973 Oxbarn Social Club football team arranged a friendly match in Germany.It was an opportunity for the lads, who play in the Wolverhampton Sunday League, to get a holiday abroad and also to meet some new opposition. Only when they entered the opponents' luxury stadium did they realise they had mistakenly arranged a friendly with a top German first division side. For their part, SVW Mainz were expecting to play Wolverhampton Wanderers, then one of the strongest teams in Britain.

The Oxbarn Club Secretary said "I thought it looked posh, and when I heard the other side were on an £80 bonus to win, I said to myself, "Something is wrong." "

After the fifteenth goal whistled into Oxbarn's net, their goalkeeper was seen to fall on to his knees. He seemed to be praying for the final whistle. It was around this time that the sixteenth and seventeenth were scored.

Naturally, the Mainz crowd were delighted to watch a team like Oxbarn instead of the mighty Wolverhampton Wanderers. "They behaved very well", said the Oxbarn secretary. "Whenever we got the ball, they gave a prolonged cheer".

Oxbarn Social Club lost 21-0.

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The football match which has attracted fewest supporters was that great game between Leicester City and Stockport County on 7th May 1921. It pulled a crowed of 13. This glorious indifference was accentuated by the fact that both teams were playing away from home. Stockport's ground had been temporarily closed and the match was held at Manchester United's immense stadium.

CRICKET REPORT

Sunday 1st August 1999 was a beautiful, sunny, summers day, just right to play a game of cricket. The clash of the titans, the old versus the new, the Presidents XI challenge to the Social Secretary. The "new" Social Secretary, up for promotion taking on the Divisional Chief Assessors team of highly paid all stars. Who won, well who would bet against the President in those circumstances.

The All Stars were mighty opponents, Michael "butterfingers" O'Keefe, Ted "Magoo" Welch and Dave "more appeals than Oxfam" Watts. A mighty side ready to be humbled by the lesser side filled with youth, Pat Carey and Cyril Burrluck and enthusiasm, the man himself, Mike "I'd rather have a beer than bat" Smith.

As the sun was shining and with a few of the Social Sec's side not turning up, the Old Boys were volunteered to field first, a cunning ploy in the heat of the afternoon. Refreshment breaks were kept to a minimum for the fielders, just the one in 30 overs but the Social Sec's side kept themselves busy drinking while they waited to bat.

The batting of Paul Ames and Brian Badrick soon had the score ticking along and some heckling of the fielders brave attempts to stop the runs became a source of great enjoyment for the afternoon. However, a mid order collapse, reminiscent of an England test side soon had doubts flowing over who would be the eventual winners. Then came Pat "the Bat" Carey, no running of course, but a sparkling 24, all boundaries pepped up the side. That, added to a last stand of 50 plus from 2 interlopers gave the Social Sec's side a healthy looking score of 219 at the end of 30 overs. Some good bowling from the all stars had restricted the middle order when 250 seemed a possibility but Steve Peeke with figures of 2 for 26, Stuart Turner with 2 for 18, Dave Thomas with 1 for 18 and Martin Bishop with 2 for 18 dashed those hopes.

The interval was welcome, with food and drink courtesy of Coral and a chance to chat and have a joke before the next stage. The Social Sec's side had early success with Glen Bradley taking a wicket with the last ball of his first over, the Presidents men were at 14 for 1 then after 3 overs. However, any hopes of steamrollering the opposition faded as Dave "the appeal" Watts set about the task with sterling support from Martin Bishop and Mike O'Keefe. Good scoring from Steve Peeke, Stuart Turner and Irving Woodward got the Presidents side close to the total required and at 204 for 5 at the end of the 28th over the game looked set to go to the Presidents men. How things change though, at the end of the 29th over only 4 runs had been added and a wicket with the first ball of the 30th changed the game and the Social Secretary in his first year of office inflicted a telling defeat on the President, he was heard to say after the game, "promotion", who needs it, and then went off for a cry. Mick took 2 wickets for 11 runs and Glen Bradley 2 for 12 being the pick of the bowlers in the side.

As an observer, It was a great afternoon, the cricket was brilliant and led to an exciting finish, one of the best games played thus far. Congratulations to all who took part, it was a wonderful spectacle. To those not there you missed a great afternoon and evening of comradeship and camaraderie. Everyone had a laugh and it was a pleasure just to be there. Our thanks must go to Margaret Watts for scoring for us and listening to the incessant rubbish spoken around her. To Coral for the half time food and drink and the stirling work of Karen Heaver ably suported by Steve who had spent the rest of the afternoon scoring 4 runs and going for 24 runs in his 3 overs, he had to make it up somehow. Thanks to Dave for his umpiring skills??? and many thanks to all those who turned up to play or just support the afternoon.

The day ended with a nice cool beer or two, some food and speeches from the President and Social Secretary. Guess who won the Bus Stop in a joint venture?

A first class afternoon, lets make sure it happens again.

A SOBERING TALE....

This article, written by Tony Hudd, is reproduced from the Kent Today Newspaper with their kind permission:

Parental pride among spectators which leads to touchline violence at boys football matches has set alarm bells ringing within the Kent County FA.

In his annual report, to be presented at Saturday's (19/06/99) AGM in Dartford, secretary, Keith Masters, called for the problem to be tackled immediately.

He admits, "this area is one that is causing me great concern and is one, which in my opinion, the Association must address as a matter of urgency. During the season I conducted a survey into the number of charges actually levied against clubs in respect of misconduct by either club officials or spectators. Unbelievably, more than 80% of those charges were against the administrators or spectators at boys football and the trend seems to be towards matches involving the younger children. This situation is unacceptable and I have to confess that at times I have been quite disgusted at what I have read. Surely these so-called adults cannot be so puerile as to think that they are doing a service for any part of the game in which they are involved. Parents, when watching their children play should, of course, encourage and also appreciate the skills of others. They must also accept the decision of the Referees. Adults must always set a good example to children. If they cannot, I would urge them to stay away from Football."

Misconduct reached an all time high in this County with the KCFA dealing with 17,690 cases which exceeds the previous seasons total by a huge 1,236.

THE BACK PAGE

DON'T FORGET!!!!!! Our Guest Speaker for the November Branch Meeting is Premier League Referee Dermot Gallagher. So make a note in your diary now! Monday 8th November 1999 at the Conservative Club. Make sure you arrive early to ensure a good seat, as I am sure this will be an extremely enjoyable and interesting evening.

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Congratulations to Geoff Moore, who received his 15 year award at the September Branch meeting. Doesn't time fly? Here's to the next 15 years!

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Need any decorating done? Then look no further than the newest addition to the Branch list of tradesmen. I understand that Trevor Bailey was recently turning his hand to a bit of home improvements, and had to take a curtain rail off the wall. Not being one to do things by halves, our Trevor managed to get the curtain rail off without a problem. The problem was caused by the plaster and bricks that came with it! I will be doing a spot of decorating shortly. Thanks, Trev, but I think I'll stick to doing it myself!

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I know it's only October, but Christmas is coming! The shops will soon be stocking up, as all the hype begins again. One of the things associated with Christmas is, of course, Christmas parties. Therefore, with your last set of minutes you received a form for the Children's Party. Please complete the form and return it to our new Social Secretary, Mick Smith, or any Committee member. This is Mick's first Christmas party, so try to help him out by getting your form back in good time. The last date to return the formis 8th November, so you have plenty of time, but don't leave it until the last minute. And remember, if you do not return the form by the closing date, your child will miss out!!

For the benefit of newer members, all Branch members' children under the age of 13 (on 4th December 1999) are entitled to come to the party, where they will have party food, play games and receive a present from Father Christmas. The party is free, so don't miss out.

WHATS IN A NAME

With our Roland Gawler currently out of action, I have been looking after his appointment book for arranging for Kent Referee Instructors to visit Branches in Kent. On my answer phone was a message to contact Mike O'Bree the Dover Branch Secretary.

On making contact, his wife answered and I could hear her say "It is Colin from Gravesend".

"Hello Colin, thanks for returning my call" said Mike. "We are aware of Roland's problem and were advised to contact you to arrange a member of the coaching committee to attend our October meeting".

"No problem" say I, "when and where?"

He gives me the relevant information, check my diary and advise him I will come along. Then ask him what topics he wants to discuss.

We clear th up.

He then says "Thats really kind of you to volunteer, I wonder whether the person who normally comes with Roland might attend"

"I amthe one who normally comes with Roland" says I.

"Oh I didn't realise you were Bollicks, sorry Colin" states Mike.

Obviously the Symbollicks do make an impact or was he just stating the obvious!!

Nice one Mike!

Colin Morris

THE BACK PAGE

Once again, the Gravesend Branch is leading the way! Thanks to the efforts of Brian Foreman, our Branch is the first in Kent to have its' own website.

This means that those of you who are computer orientated can now access all the up to date Branch news on the world wide web. I am delighted to say that the Newsletter forms part of the website, along with details of committee members and general Branch news.

The website address is www.gravesendrefs.currantbun.com,and you can send an e-mail to the Branch on gravesendrefs@currantbun.com.If you want to send me a Newsletter article in the format of the new millenium. then you cancontact me direct on ian.miles@marshalls.co.uk. Alternatively, you can post it to me at 17 Church Farm Road, Upchurch, Kent ME9 7AG, or pick up the phone and give me a ring on 01634 235148.

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Apologies to Cyril Burrluck, who many moons ago, gave me a very faded programe with details of two Boys League Cup Finals. Unfortunately, the year seems to be missing, but there is reference to Northfleet United U15s having players by the name of T.Cordice, E.Toppin and K.Bramble and mentions that the latter two were selected for an England International Trial. Players named in the team sheets include P.Britton, S.Clarkson, N.Daisley, K.Kurek, P.Drynan. S.Cocca and J.Kirwin. I'm sure there are a few there whose names you know!

As for the match officials, the match between Eagles and J.F.C.Cuxton was Refereed by Fred Fissenden, assisted by Ray Ellingham and John Thrush, while Dave Frondigoun took charge of Milton & Denton versus Northfleet, assisted by Dave Watts and Brian Skinner.

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URGENTLY WANTED

Unfortunately, due to illness, we now have a problem with photocopying the Newsletter. With the number of Branch members steadily increasing, the number of copies required is now extremely high. Thanks to the efforts of your Committee, these copies have always been obtained free of charge. However, there is now a possibility that we may have to pay for copying, which will put a new strain on Branch funds. Alternatively, the Newsletter may have to be reduced in size or become a bi-monthly publication, rather than monthly. In either of these cases, the information passed to you, the Branch members, will be reduced. If you can help in any way, please contact Ian Miles or any other Committee member.

MYSTIC REF - NEW COMPETITION

After the success of last seasons 'Mystic Ref' competition, we feel it is appropiate for you to have another go and show a better understanding of the game. The questions have not changed, but the answers surely will.

For the investment of £2 you must predict the answers to the following questions. For each correct answer 3 points are awarded. One away from the answer will earn you 1 point. The person with the highest point score will be declared the winner. In case of a tie, the one closest to question 25 will determin the winner.

For each £2 entry, £1 will go to the Branch and the other £1 into the Prize Fund. So the more entrants the bigger the prize. There is no restriction to number of entries. The competition is open to anyone who can write and pay the entry fee. Please pass your completed entry form and fee to Colin Morris 1 Milton Court, Spring Grove, Gravesend, Kent DA12 1ND. (01474 568548) or any member of the Committee no later than the closing date given below.

Best of luck!

A current standing will be published in each Branch Newsletter between now and the end of the Competition.

NAME:

ADDRESS:

POST CODE:

Tel. No.:

NO ENTRY WILL BE ACCEPTED AFTER 17th OCTOBER 1999.