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Here goes for the second Newsletter of the new season. It doesn't seem like five minutes ago that I was typing out the last one, but after a two week break, I now find myself under pressure to get this edition prepared in time for Brian Foreman to copy and distribute before he goes on holiday! There's never a dull moment in the high-flying world of the press, you know!
By the time you read this, the season will be under way. If the Charity Shield is anything to go by, then we could be in for an interesting time! There was no doubt that Roy Keane fully deserved his red card for the disgraceful " tackle" on Gustavo Poyet. There was also little doubt that Sir Alex would not openly critisise his captain, but would instead blame the referee. It was, of course, Mike Riley's fault that Keane was dismissed. It was not Keane's own lack of self discipline as a highly paid professional, nor was it the fault of his ten team mates, who, knowing the temperament of the player concerned, failed to try to calm him down as the red mist descended, nor was it the fault of the manager himself, who must also have seen the red card coming if his player was not careful. I find it most peculiar that most people I have spoken to about the incident could see the red card coming a mile off, so surely someone as involved in the game as a Premier League manager must have seen the warning signs. Whilst we could not do anything to prevent the sending off, he could. Having taken no noticeable action, the inevitable red card was iss ued, but the responsibility is abdicated, and it is the referees' fault.
The Manchester United manager has also gone on record as saying that the experimental law of advancing the ball ten yards if a player shows dissent to a decision would be confusing, as referees would interpret the law differently. What he has failed to recognise is that it is actions such as those displayed by his team towards Andy D'Urso last season that have brought this change into force. In my opinion, this change is long overdue, and the sooner it is made a proper part of the Laws the better.
At this point, it is appropriate to point out that this alteration to the Laws is purely experimental, and applies to Premier League, Nationwide League, and FA Cup (from the 1st Round proper) ONLY. Please, please, please, as tempting as it may be, do not implement this change in the local leagues or county leagues.
On a lighter note, I was able to contact my colleague at work, who runs the company Fantasy Football League in time this year . (I was on holiday and missed the start of the season last year). So I will be able to keep you up to date with the fortunes of Smiley United's return. And with a line up which includes Beckham, Kewell, Kinkladze, Yorke, and Phillips, I'm hoping there will be plenty of top of the table action to report on.
Happy reading, and enjoy the start of the season.
WHY SHOULD I ATTEND BRANCH MEETINGS? (PART 2)
You will recall (I hope) that last month's Newsletter had an article with this heading. There were eleven reasons given in answer to the question in the title. Just in case you are still not convinced, this month gives eleven more reasons.
Hopefully, if you are one of those members who does not attend Branch meetings for one reason or another, you will find a sufficient number of reasons to give it a go. Remember that the Branch is run for your benefit. The Committee members are not ogres. They can all be approached, and if you feel you have an idea to improve Branch meetings, then they are all willing to listen. At the end of the day, if your idea can encourage more members to attend meetings, then that is the aim.
Nobody is trying to force you to do something you don't want to do, but I would particularly like to encourage newer members to come along. After all, there have been over twenty reasons given for attending Branch meetings, so they can't be that bad an idea, can they? Just to remind you, Branch meetings take place on the second Monday of each month during the season at the Conservative Club, Parrock Street. We look forward to seeing you at the next meeting.
1) You can help the Branch to subsidise social activities.
During the course of the year, the Branch has many social activities, which are funded through Branch funds. By participating in the Branch 100 Club and Bus Stop tickets at Branch meetings, you can help to contribute to those funds, so th at you will get even better value when you attend the social functions!
2) You will find out about social events arranged by the Branch.
You will hear all the up to date news on social events arranged by the Branch. These may be anything from a cricket match or a car rally to the Referee of the Year Dinner & Dance. Whatever the occasion, it will provide an opportunity for you and your partner to meet other referees and their wives.
3) You will make new friends.
Many a lifelong friendship has been formed through the Gravesend Branch. Who knows, you could make some good friends of your own?
4) You will benefit from coaching.
All Branch meetings have a coaching session, where you will learn how to deal with all sorts of situations, which may occur. You will the n be better prepared to handle situations as they arise on the field of play.
5) You will meet the Branch Committee members.
The members of the Branch Committee are all experienced referees. They are real people, with many years of experience between them, and they are all willing to help you if you have a problem. Branch meetings provide an opportunity to meet those men who make the decisions on your behalf.
6) You can enjoy a drink in a friendly atmosphere.
You can get a drink at the bar, and enjoy it in comfortable surroundings in a friendly atmosphere. The business side of the meeting is kept to a minimum, and you can socialise with other referees during the interval and after the meeting.
7) You can keep up to date with RA matters.
The Football Referee Magazine is available at Branch meetings. By reading this monthly publication, you can keep abreast of national RA matters, and also learn more about refereeing.
8) You will gain confidence.
The additional knowledge you gain by attending Branch meet ings will enable you to have a more confident approach on the field of play. Particularly if you are a shy person, then you will find that attending meetings can help you to boost your confidence and strengthen your character.
9) You will meet some of local football's characters.
Several of our Branch members have had many years of local league football, not necessarily as a referee, but often as a player. You can learn from their experiences and some of the stories they have to tell. The problems you encounter may well be less daunting as a result.
10) You will know your colleagues if you are appointed together.
By attending Branch meetings and becoming friends with other referees, you will be better prepared if you are appointed to a match with Ass istant Referees, as you will already know your colleagues. Equally, if you are appointed as an Assistant to someone you already know, then the chances are that you will offer better assistance, as you will have an idea of the referee\rquote s style. This will lead to a better atmosphere on the day of the game, and a better performance on the field of play.
11) You will become a better referee.
Not every referee wants to get on to the Premier League. Some are quite happy to be a Class 3 on the local leagues. There is nothing wrong with that, but whatever we do in life, we should strive to do it to the best of our ability. If you want to remain a Class 3, then that is your decision, but you can still try to become a very good Class 3. By regularly attending Bran ch meetings, and taking advantage of the help available, I can guarantee that you will become a better referee.
I hope you found last month's "It's In The Net!" of interest. As I stated last month, I intend this to be a monthly item, in order to give those of you who are not cyberefs a taste of the information available.
Firstly this month I have a few more addresses for those surfers amongst you. If you are interested in the Laws of the Game from the FIFA web site, the web link is http://www.fifa2.com/scripts/runisa.dll?m2.131376:gp:862535:67173+mrel/Display+14195+E. I hope that means more to you than it does to me!
A slightly easier address is that of the FA web site, which is the-fa.org. And on the Branch front, Bernie Cheeseman has a new e-mail address. He can be contacted on bcba16659@cableinet.co.uk
Our Branch web site has prompted yet another society to make contact. A gentleman by the name of George Cornforth has made contact from Darlington Society. They can be contacted at www.darlingtonreferees.freeserve.co.uk.
We have also had some contact from one of our own Branch members, who moved out of the area a while ago. Mark Field was complimentary about our web site, and sends his best wish es to all Branch members. He would also like to congratulate all those who gained promotion last season, and wishes those of you who are up for promotion the best of luck. Unfortunately, Mark will be out of action this season, having snapped his cruciate knee ligament. I'm sure you all join me in wishing Mark well. Mark also sent me an amusing article concerning a committee set up to crack down on indiscipline, violence, and cheating in football. I hope you enjoy reading it.
Other news sent to me by Brian Foreman over the past weeks include the point mentioned in the Editorial regarding the concerns of Sir Alex Ferguson relating to the experiment with the ten yard advancement, and news that FIFA have won a legal case to kick a cybersquatter off the web site http://www.fifa-world-cup.com. Apparently, it is the pastime of some opportunists to set up net addresses, simply by being the first one to use that name. They then cash in by selling the name off. This is actually FIFA\rquote s second success in evicting a cybersquatter.
A group of scientists have kindly claimed that linesmen are blind. The Dutch experts claim that Assistant Referees who stand behind the last defender are at an angle which creates an optical illusion which invariably disrupts the flow of the game, angering disgruntled players who believe they are in the right in the process. As part of the survey, three linesmen were tested on 200 potential offsides, 40 of which they got wrong. The experts also watched over 200 European matches (It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it), and found that in the 25 English games watched, the flag went up wrongly 17 times, and stayed down wrongly 14 times. I still feel the use of the word "blind" is not quite correct!
Thanks to Vic Taylor for sending me the following article comprising of a list of quotes allegedly emanating from the England manager. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
"They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that."
"England have the best fans in the world, and Scotland's fans are second to none."
"It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket - every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card"
" I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona."
"England can end the millennium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world."
"You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw."
"He's using his strength, and that is his strength, his strength."
"Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice."
"The tide is very much in our court now."
"Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose."
"I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different."
"I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon"
"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg."
"The 33 or 34 year olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they\rquote re not careful."
" It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney."
"I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half time."
THAT 12-MAN VIDEO COMMITTEE NAMED AND SHAMED
In a bid to crack down on indiscipline, violence and cheating in football the FA are setting up a new advisory panel which will use video evidence to judge disciplinary offences that escaped the match official. The 12-man body will be chosen over the next fortnight and will be made up of retired players, former referees and ex-managers. Alan Tyers says: "Don't just pick football people, get a broader range of experts." So: whom should they pick?
1) Vinnie Jones
The former Wimbledon bruiser's peerless experiences in the game's dark arts make him an ideal choice for ruling on brawls. Could weigh up aggression, likelihood of lasting injury and amount of provocation in each individual case and even award points, i ce-skating style, for difficulty of foul and aesthetic effect. And after having been in Lock Stock, sitting through tedious videos about violence shouldn't be too much of a hardship.
2) Lindsey Dawn McKenzie
Plenty of experience of handling footballers. Modern players seem very poor at fighting, with real punches a much rarer sight than slapping, an area in which Lindsey is clearly a world leader. However, her policy on spitting remains a closely guarded secret: between her, Dean Holdsworth and about 40 0 other professional footballers.
3) Barry Norman
And why not? Barry's patent blend of avuncular wit and relentless self-parody is a national treasure. Get the man on board: he must have seen more violence and swearing on videos than just about everybody in the country. Mariella Frostrup may have a nicer voice, but one can't help feeling that Barry's eye for detail would win the day.
4) Kieron Dyer
Plenty of experience with shocking videos, so he shouldn't be too easily offended. Slight risk of him nic king cassettes with any crowd shots of attractive women for 'careful, private study', but certainly a young man with a real understanding of the role of the camera in modern football.
5) Jeremy Beadle
"And what the referee doesn't know, is that Paolo Di Canio is going to shove him in the chest. Hilarious!"
6) Eric Cantona
The former Manchester United legend has an infamous violent streak, but would he be sufficiently pompous to do the 'poacher turned gamekeeper' bit? The answer, one suspects, is yes. At games where amateur recordings have been made, poor quality films shouldn't be a problem: free copy of Mookie, anyone?
7) Donal MacIntyre
Has been undercover with Chelsea hooligans, but would even that terrifying experience prepare him for watching t he full horror of certain members of Chairman Ken's blue army going about their work of a Saturday afternoon? Would certainly advocate the miking up of refs, hidden cameras in linesmen's shorts and possibly even the bugging of substitutes.
8) Dennis Norden
"If you, like me, are one of those people who likes... }{\i\fs18 cock}{\fs18 -ups, then you'll love this one. It's so good, we should have put it under the pillow for the... goof fairy. Yes, it's Paul Gascoigne trying to elbow George Boateng in the face... and breaking his own elbow."
9) Mary Whitehouse
Violence, bad language, rude gestures... it's a happy hunting ground for the self-appointed guardian of the nation's morals. Ban them all! Hang them!
10) Arsene Wenger
Sample meeting: "I did not see the incident."
"Look, Arsene, it's there, on the video, paused, on that eight feet screen there. Look. Can't you see? Bloody well look, will you?"
"No, I can't see anything."
"Take your hands away from your face, Arsene."
"Lalalalalalalala I can't hear you..."
11) Really Smug Bloke On Police, Camera, Action
"But what Roy Keane didn't know is that we had him on video chasing 80 yards up the pitch to berate the referee. The result? A no match ban and a whopping fine of nought pounds and nought pence. I think it's safe to say that he's learned his lesson."
12) Sir David Attenbrough
Managed to get close to apes, so should have an understanding of some of the game's more 'combative' midfielders. Constant whispering might reduce his authority, though.
During the summer break, the Branch took part in the annual Driver Peskett Quiz. This is a Quiz on sports general knowledge, and our Branch competes against other local branches for the trophy. In case you haven't heard, our team of Mick Smi th, Nolan Wilde, Bernie Cheeseman, Vic Taylor, Pat Carey, and Trevor Bailey were successful in gaining victory in a closely fought contest.
The final scores were: Gravesend 75 points - Dartford 72 points - Sevenoaks 71 points
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ANOTHER REMINDER
Please remember that the new experiment with the Laws of the Game to advance free kicks 10 yards only applies to the Premiership, the Football League, and the FA Cup (from the 1st Round proper).
The actual wording of the Law is as follows:
If, when a free kick is awarded, a player from the offending team:
a) fails to respect the required distance and retreat 9.15m (10 yards) from the position of the free kick, or
b) delays the restart of play by carrying, throwing, or kicking the ball away, or
c) shows dissent by word or action, or
d) indulges in any other form of unsporting behaviour,
- the referee will first caution the offending player and show the yellow card, and
- the referee will advance the free kick 9.15m (10 yards) towards the midpoint of the offending team's goal line.
The main law change that does affect the majority of Branch members is that the goalkeeper will concede an indirect free kick if he takes more than six seconds while controlling the ball with his hands before releasing it.
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Please note that any views expressed herein are not those of the Branch unless otherwise stated. All articles to Ian Miles, 17 Church Farm Road, Upchurch, Kent ME9 7AG. Tel: 01634 - 235148. E-mail ian.miles@marshalls.co.uk.
